Rewiring My Chronic Pain Mindset: The Shift That Gave Me My Life Back
Most people think living with chronic pain is about endurance. For years, I thought so too. I woke up ready to fight my body, convinced that if I just pushed harder, I’d win.
But pain isn’t an opponent. My body wasn’t the enemy, it was an exhausted ally. Dragged onto a battlefield I created by refusing to adapt.
Rewiring my mindset around chronic pain didn’t happen overnight. It happened through small, stubborn choices, moments of clarity, and the decision to stop fighting and start building.
The Breaking Point: When My Old Mindset Failed
At 20, I was three years into a spiral. Marijuana and alcohol numbed me. Construction jobs drained me. Nights ended in exhaustion, mornings in dread.
The breaking point wasn’t a hospital visit. It was a walk on a bright morning. The sun lit the hills, and for the first time in years, I saw a vision of a life beyond pain. Ocean air. Rocks. Movement. Peace.
I lay in the grass, and for the first time, I didn’t think about fighting pain. I thought about building a life with it.
That shift didn’t cure me. But it saved me.
Why My Old Mindset Was Destroying Me
Looking back, I see the three lies I believed:
- “Pain is the enemy.” → Fighting my body left me bitter, angry, and broken.
- “I’ll be the old me again.” → Chasing the past kept me stuck in denial.
- “Strength means pushing through.” → Pushing through led to crashes that stole weeks of my life.
The First Wins: Small Shifts That Changed Everything
Rewiring my mindset around chronic pain started small:
- Sleep as Survival
A supportive mattress added two hours of rest a night. It didn’t erase pain but it erased the fog. - Work as Therapy
Construction work wasn’t just income. It kept my joints moving. Movement stopped my body from locking up. - Studying Smart
A standing desk and ergonomic chair meant I could study for hours without collapsing. It wasn’t glamorous, but it worked. - Energy Budgeting
I stopped spending energy on guilt-driven yeses. If pain was a 7/10, I scaled my plans. If it was a 4, I pushed gently. - Listening Early
When I felt the whisper of tension or fatigue, I adjusted before it became a scream.
These weren’t hacks. They were lifelines.
The Framework: How I Rewired My Chronic Pain Mindset
To make it practical, here’s the framework I still use today.
1. Reframe Pain
- Old mindset: Pain is the enemy
- New mindset: Pain is data
- Question I ask: “What is my body telling me right now?”
2. Build Around the 6/10
Most days I live at a 6/10. Instead of chasing zero, I design systems that keep me functional.
Example:
- At 4/10: light cycling + mobility
- At 7/10: seated stretches + breathwork
- At 9/10: rest + heat therapy
3. Anchor With Micro-Wins
I don’t measure success by hours worked. I measure by showing up.
- Stretching = win
- Writing one paragraph = win
- Taking a bath = win
4. Protect the Engine, Not the Output
My body is the engine. Work, money, productivity – they’re the output. Protect the engine first.
5. Normalize Adaptation
I stopped apologizing for adapting.
- Standing desk? Not extra = essential.
- Cancelling plans? Not weak = smart.
- Taking breaks? Not lazy = strategic.
The Emotional Side: Reclaiming My Identity
The hardest part wasn’t the pain. It was the identity theft.
I lost my hockey dream. My athletic body. My “strong guy” reputation.
And yet, I rebuilt a new identity:
- A systems thinker
- A resilient remote worker
- A man who adapts faster than most people can imagine
Pain didn’t erase me. It forced me to become someone different.
Why This Matters
You don’t need to wait for a miracle cure. You don’t need to fight harder.
You need a chronic pain mindset that bends with you. Not against you.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already survived more than most people know. Now it’s about rewiring. Step by step.
Suggested Reads
- 10 Items That Made Remote Work Bearable With Chronic Pain → The tools that supported my mindset shift
- When Chronic Illness Took My Body, It Took My Identity Too → The identity pain stole, and how I rebuilt
- What I Wish I Knew at 25: Chronic Pain, Career Choices, and Protecting Your Future → Lessons I’d send back in time
